T'was the Night Before Christmas
by Skye1963
Summary: Part of my By the Grace of Angels verse, coming soon. It's Christmas Eve and Sam is alone. Dean and Benny are at a bar while Cas is visiting an Assisted Living Facility. While wandering around a town, he finds a small church and a man whose kindness lets him have a taste of the First Christmas.


_This is a present for everyone. I hope you like this story! As usual, I'm only taking the toys out to play, I don't own them. Merry Christmas to everyone! This is part of my By the Grace of Angels verse, coming soon. Sam is actually Samael, an Archangel who was torn apart by Michael, Lucifer and Azazel for not taking sides in the family argument. When he died, his Grace was lodged into the Graces of Michael, Lucifer, Azazel, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Castiel. When he was born into human form, his Grace started to come back to him, starting when Azazel bled into his mouth when he was six months old. Since then, anytime that Sam had run across one of the holders of his Grace, it would break away from its custodian and return to Sam. Dean is the reincarnation of Nimrod, the king who reigned over Babel before its fall. Because of this, Dean is actually a Nephilim reborn. Cas and Samael have always been considered twins by their siblings, no matter that Samael is the oldest and Castiel is the youngest, since they were mirrors of each other and had a very close bond. It is because of their bond, that Cas received the bulk of Samael's Grace. It is also the reason why Castiel was assigned to the Winchesters in the first place._

_In this story, Sam has gotten all his Grace and powers back but he is still healing and relearning how to use his powers. His memories are mostly of his human life but sometimes they reflect another life. Especially when it comes to Christmas._

_Some definitions-_

_Transept- the rectangular area between the chancel and nave_

_Chancel-Sanctuary_

_Nave-Where the Congregation sits_

T'was the Night Before Christmas

Christmas Eve, 2012. Sam couldn't remember the last time he and Dean celebrated Christmas. The last clear time was before Dean was dragged to Hell and it was mostly for Dean's sake no matter what he had said. It was one of the worst Christmases they had had together, in Sam's opinion though he never told Dean that, and they haven't had a Christmas celebration since then. At first, it was the breaking of the seals and Ruby that stopped them then it was the Apocalypse. After that, it was the Cage (one hundred eighty years of torture as presents from the two Grinches), Robo Sam, Leviathans, and the last Christmas was during the time Dean and Castiel were in Purgatory. Amelia tried to give Sam a nice Christmas last year but there was something missing for both of them. With Amelia it was her husband Donald and for Sam it was his family. They ended up crying in each other's arms and the dinner Amelia cooked just went bad. Sam didn't know what Christmas was like for Dean while he was in the Cage but he didn't doubt that Dean had the same problem that Sam had except Bobby, Lisa and Ben was also around at the time. Bobby had been family, the father that Dean could turn to during the Holiday Season. Sam only had Amelia. There wasn't anyone else for him.

Sam had been happy that Dean got out of Purgatory but then there were flies in that particular ointment. One was Benny, the vampire who had helped Dean escape and, in Dean's mind, became the brother Sam should have been, since it was Benny and not Sam who had gotten Dean out of Purgatory. That really hurt. Just like what happened when Dean was pulled out of Hell by Castiel. Then there was the fact that Cas decided to stay in Purgatory to do penance for his sins. Dean being upset at Sam for trying to live a normal life wasn't any fun either, nor was the fact that Kevin was still upset about being forgotten. They forgot that, when Sam abandoned his cells and the hunt, he didn't know where they were or how to help them. Kevin had been taken by Crowley to Hell for all Sam knew.

After everyone had disappeared or been taken, Sam had a minor breakdown. The incident at SucroCorp took place too soon after Cas diverted the link between him and Lucifer. It was Riot and Amelia who pulled him from the brink and back into living. Nobody needed to know any of that, though. Sam let everyone think that he was being selfish instead of suicidal. It was just easier that way.

Now, even though Dean and Cas were both back from Purgatory, Sam was very lonely. Cas was visiting the Assisted Living Facility in town and Dean decided to get together with Benny for drinks at the bar down the street. Neither Dean nor Cas asked Sam along for their activities which left Sam very depressed and lonely. He tried to watch television but became depressed with all the shows that the networks put out during the Holiday Season. He then tried the internet but without anything to research, he became bored quickly. Scrolling through his cell phone, his depression worsened as he realized that none of the people in his directory would want to hear from him, if they were alive that was. It was at that point that he decided to go for a walk. After writing a note for his brother, Sam threw on his coat and left the room.

He wandered around the small town for a couple of hours before he came upon a very small church. Unlike most of the buildings, this church wasn't decorated or even brightly lit. The soft glow and warmth beckoned the weary hunter. Sam stood outside the church wondering if he had the right to go in when a man dressed in Christmas vestments came out.

"I was wondering if anyone was going to come to Service," the priest commented to Sam when he came to a halt.

"I'm surprised there isn't a crowd here," Sam confessed. "My Uncle used to say that Christmas was a very busy time for him. His church was always filled."

"Your uncle was a priest?" the man asked.

"No…yeah…I guess. He was an Anglican and we always used to call him Pastor," Sam answered.

"He would have been a priest then. Brrr, it's cold out here. Why don't you come in and warm up a bit, you look chilled. By the way, my name is Father Gratian."

"Sam. I don't know if I should. I want to but I don't know if I have the right to," Sam said in a very soft voice.

"Why wouldn't you?" Fr. Gratian asked.

"I don't know. I've been to Hell and asked for forgiveness but some days it feels as though I've been ignored. I know God isn't in Heaven so how can I be certain He heard me and forgave me?" Sam babbled with tears in his voice. Noticing that the temperature seemed to have dropped another ten degrees, Gratian thought for a moment then, putting his arm around the younger man, he led him into the warm church. He could hear how close the younger man was to breaking and, even though Christmas was supposed to be a very happy time, some people found it to be a hard time to live through. There was something that cried out to him to help the young man.

"Sam, St. Thomas taught us that God isn't in a particular place. He is everywhere and in everything, including humans. I'm sure that you have heard His voice from time to time, right?" Gratian asked kindly. Sam thought about Lindsey and what she said about forgiveness. He remembered Jess joking about how he would crash and burn without her. Bobby, Jim, Caleb, and even John's voices rang out to him about love and family. Then there was Dean who was his whole world and Cas who was a big part of that world. From each of them, at one time or another, Sam had heard God's voice though he just didn't know it at the time. Sam nodded his answer to the priest who smiled. "Good, that means you were paying attention. Most people don't, you know. They look for God in the wilderness or believe that He needs to be in a building or, like you said, in Heaven but that's not His way. He likes to be where He's needed the most. Here on Earth with us. He talks to us, forgives us and even carries us when our burdens become too much. Because of His actions and feelings, you most definitely have the right to come into this church on this night. Besides, I really need help. None of my deacons or alter boys are here and I planned on doing a Latin Mass in celebration. I can give you the book to show your movements and the responses you will need to make…er, I suppose I should ask if you speak Latin."

"Yeah, Liturgical and conversational. My Uncle made sure that I knew it front and back," Sam laughed at the memory of how easily he had learned the language and the shock on Jim's face when the small boy started to talk almost exclusively in Latin after only a few lessons. It took his family a couple of weeks to convince him to speak English again.

Gratian smiled and said, "Good that will make everything a bit easier so if you will follow me, I'll find you a cassock to wear." Sam smiled back and followed the priest into the small church. When they entered the church, Sam looked around in awe. No, there weren't any Christmas decorations but there was a manger scene in the transept and candles burning as the only light source in the building, just like stars. Something stirred in Sam's chest, a memory coming from different sources that told of a birth. Of singing. Of rejoicing. The only thing that stung was that he wasn't there but he also felt that he had been in a very special way. Shaking his head from the almost memories, Sam followed Gratian into the vestibule where he was given a cassock to put on. Gratian also gave him a book describing the ancient ceremony which he read while the priest was getting ready for the Mass. Since Sam had an eidetic memory, something that had just started in the last year which Sam hadn't told Dean about yet, he memorized the ceremony within minutes.

When the priest was ready, he nodded to his assistant and they left the vestibule to enter the church. Gratian carried the chalice, which was covered by a veil, and placed it on the Alter. Then he moved to the foot and made the sign of the cross.

"Introibo ad altare Dei, ad Deum qui laetificat iuventutem meam." Gratian then made the sign of the cross again and said "Our help is in the name of the Lord."

Sam sang out the response, "Who made Heaven and Earth." Gratian's eyes widened at the sound of the voice from the young man. Initially, he had decided to go with a simple service since he had no congregation but when he heard Sam sing, he decided to go with the High Mass. Together, the men sang the Mass in celebration. They were so into what they were doing that they didn't notice the three men standing in the nave.

Dean and Benny had gone back to the motel room only to find Sam's note. It took them a few minutes before they had tracked the younger man down to the church but before they went in, Castiel appeared beside them.

"Do you hear it?" the Angel asked. His eyes were huge and shiny with tears.

"What do you mean, Cas?" Dean answered the question with one of his own.

"I haven't heard that voice in so very long," Cas just said, ignoring Dean's question as he walked up to the door to enter the church. Benny and Dean looked at each other, shrugged then followed the Angel into the church where they were shocked and surprised to see Sam helping the priest with the Mass, singing the responses in a beautiful voice that captured their attention. In all their lives together, Dean had never heard his brother sing as beautifully as he did now. Cas stood in the nave and began to join in the singing of the responses. As he sang, he walked up to stand by Sam in the Chancel. Their voices blended together in a beautiful harmony that brought tears to the others' eyes.

Benny was the next to move. He went to the Bible and, after picking it up, knelt in front of the priest with the Book opened. He also rang the bells when needed. After watching for a minute, Dean felt a pull on his soul to step up to the nativity scene where he knelt and picked up the Christ child, tears were in his eyes as he remembered when he had held Sam right after his brother was born. The Mass became something else after that. Gratian blinked but the sight wouldn't leave him.

Two more men appeared in the nave then went up to sing by Sam. The songs went from English to Latin to another language the priest didn't recognize. It wasn't until wings appeared on the backs of the singers that Gratian finally put it together. He had thought about skipping the Mass until he met Sam outside of his church then he decided to do one for the distraught young man. Now, though, the Mass was for him. He saw and heard the songs the Angels sang for the Holy Birth while Joseph held the Child. He himself was in the place of one of the Three Wise Men with another with him holding the Gifts. Never had he seen or participated in such a service of love and worship.

Sam finally sang out in English, "This is the Sacrifice, the Lamb, the Son of our Father who came to this world to save humanity. Let us rejoice!"

Cas then responded, "Our brother born as our Father wished. He will save all of us with his sacrifice. Let us rejoice!"

One of the other men, a man with gold hair and butterscotch eyes, came forward and sang, "Let the message of His birth be heard. Spread the word of Father's love and forgiveness. Let us rejoice!" Then, taking a horn he had carried with him, the golden haired man blew it three times.

The last singer, a blond man with blue eyes, then sang, "We are bereft without our brother with us. He is our sacrifice and gift to humanity. Let us rejoice!"

Dean then lifted his own voice in song, "Oh come, oh come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel…" Benny and Gratian joined Dean in song as they celebrated the birth. After that song was done, Gratian sang out, "Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing o'er the plains…" He sang it as a gift to the four winged men in his church. When he came to the refrain, the Angels, as he believed them to be, joined in, "Gloria, in excelsis Deo."

Then it was time for Communion and Gratian offered the sacrament to all who were there, no matter their religious beliefs. Benny was first then he helped the priest by holding the Chalice with the consecrated wine. Afterwards, the Benediction was given and the Mass was ended. Two of the men, the ones who had come in late, disappeared and the wings of Cas and Sam were hidden again. Dean put the statue down and went to his baby brother. Putting his arms around Sam, Dean just held him and whispered in his ear, "They should have sung the night you were born, Sammy. You saved the world too." Sam looked at his brother with love and tears in his eyes.

Cas went to the brothers and whispered in Sam's ear, "I missed you big brother. I'm so happy that you are back with us." He gave the young man a fierce hug and kissed his forehead. Sam reciprocated then both of them hugged Dean. Benny and Gratian watched in awe as a golden glow enveloped all three beings by the Nativity. They felt as though they were seeing a miracle of healing and deep love.

Gratian walked the men out to the door and noticed that the temperature had risen and snow was falling. A perfect Christmas Eve, he thought, as he watched the men walk away singing carols in joyful voices.

Christmas Day-

Sam woke early, even before Dean which wasn't something he usually did. He looked at his brother sleeping with his thumb in his mouth, something that he would never admit he did. After all a thirty something man _never_ sucked his thumb while asleep! Even though vampires slept during the day, Benny ended up crashing on their couch with Cas curling up behind Sam. Sam smiled as he watched his sleeping brothers, yes Benny was now his brother because he saved Dean from Purgatory, and decided to do something nice for this day.

Sam closed his eyes and called to his other two brothers to join him. Gabriel and Balthazar appeared next to him, "Whatcha want, Sammy?" Gabriel asked.

Sam smiled and said, "I need your help, brother. I want to do something nice for today but my powers are still waking up. Could you two help me?" Both Angels nodded then he told them what he wanted. Gabriel grinned and snapped his fingers. Food, coffee and hot chocolate appeared on the table and counter. Blood was now in the fridge for Benny. Balthazar also snapped his fingers and decorations appeared around the room complete with lights and a tree. Sam grinned then snapped his own fingers. Presents appeared under the tree. Because it was a family day, Sam invited his brothers to stay and celebrate. He was also on pins and needles waiting for the sleepy heads to wake up.

Dean woke up an hour later and the yell he gave out woke Cas and Benny out of their sound sleep. Looking at everything, Dean was torn between taking a shower, having some breakfast or unwrapping presents. Presents won out and he dived under the tree to extract them. Even though Dean got the majority, there was something under the tree for everyone…everyone except Sam. Dean felt bad that he had forgotten what day it was but Sam assured him that he already had his present and not to worry about it. Gabriel, seeing how badly Dean felt, snapped up a wrapped gift and gave it to the hunter to give to his brother. Dean smiled gratefully at the Archangel then gave Sam the gift. When Sam unwrapped it, tears shone in his eyes. On a chain was a ball of beautiful light. Sam looked at all his brothers who nodded, even Dean and Benny though they didn't have a clue as to what the gift was.

"He kept it?" Sam asked wonderingly.

"Yeah, what do you think led the shepherds and Wise Men to the place where our Brother had been born? He wanted you to have a piece of it to keep," Balthazar said.

"What is it, Sammy?" Dean asked.

Seeing his brother was too choked up to speak, Gabriel answered for him, "Sam was an artist for a very long time and one of the things he made were stars. Specifically stars to guide people by. This was one of them and it's only brought out once a year starting two thousand years ago. You call it the Star of David but it really is Sam's Star. Dad decided to give Sam a piece of it."

"Should I give it to Gratian? He was so wonderful last night," Sam wondered.

"Don't worry about it. You keep your star. Dad has another present for him," Gabriel told his brother. Sam smiled his thanks and for the rest of the day, the family relaxed and enjoyed the celebration.

_When Gratian went into the church, he was surprised by a ball of light on the Nativity. When he checked it out, he found that it was on a golden chain with a note attached. The note said, "This is a piece of a Star that guides men's hearts. Just like you. A thank you for helping My child." Gratian was awed and crossed himself. That gift would stay with him until he died. Then, as part of his will, it went to the Vatican where it shone every Christmas. There would be many people who would swear that they could hear Angels singing when they saw it._

_Fin_

A/N-Father Gratian was based on a friend of mine who was a very kind and gentle man. I met him after he had come back from being a missionary in Brazil for many years. He passed away years ago but his presence is still felt today by those who knew him.


End file.
